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What Slowness Can Do To A Person

It’s Memorial Day weekend.

That means 5 months have passed since January 1, 2018 when I embarked on a huge project.
My head has been down the entire time, consumed mostly with work.
Sure, I have accomplished a lot.
I’ve managed to handle a full case load, develop a course
and the digital infrastructure to distribute it online.

Yes, I’m super excited (and proud) about that.
But there has been a cost.
I have this sense of the accelerated passing of time.
This project has required intense focus and concentration.
It has consumed whatever part of me was left after I did the things I had to do
and finally had a spare moment to do the things I must do.

I know that in the process, while immersed in and consumed by it,
I have not only been transformed,
but there are things I have missed.

I’m not even sure what those things are,
because you don’t know what you don’t know.

Which makes me feel a little sad.
And nostalgic, even.

So this weekend, I will rest, and slow down.
I’m going to read, and dream, and plan, and reconnect
with the non-working, non-productive, non-focused me.
I’m going to embrace slowness, reject speed, ride a horse, hug my dog.
Stay up late and sleep in.
Hell, I may even bake a pie.

Self-imposed slowness.
I wonder what it will do to me.