No matter how sad and awful and tragic the news is, no matter how unrelenting the violence, no matter how disgusting humanity can be, no matter the pain the tears the loss the grief the abject horror, I will strive to remain curious about the world and the people in it. Sometimes I think my vitality for life,my curiosity, my drive to learn and explore myself and others is in direct proportion to the sadness I feel. Somehow the grief propels me forward. Resilience, I suppose. I can’t resign to how “bad things are.” The fuckers won’t get me down. They may make me literally sick and disgusted but I will never stop appreciating beauty and kindness and grace where I can find it, which often is deep inside, when close my eyes and am very still.