Episode 007: Blogger & Relationship Guru Bruna Nessif on The Problem With Dating

“Tell me I can’t do something so I can show you I can.” ~Bruna Nessif

Jennifer Gardner interviews former E! News writer & editor, and now independent blogger, Bruna Nessif, on her new entrepreneurial venture, The Problem With Dating.

Highlights from the Episode

(2:00) Bruna’s career at E! Entertainment, how she worked her way up, starting as an intern despite people’s doubts that she could make it happen and her strategy to make herself an asset from the moment she stepped into the building.
“Your skill set is important but you can always improve that. What you can bring already finessed and finished and polished is your attitude and that’s just as important.” ~Bruna Nessif
Bruna started out creating content for E! Online that was causing conversations in other forums – not the norm for an intern – and went on to freelance and eventually work full-time covering weddings, divorces, baby births, breakups, makeups, and more. She interviewed celebrities such as Josh Duhamel, Alessandra Ambrosio, and
Maggie Q.

 

(11:00) How Bruna “broke up with” her job to launch The Problem With Dating blog and website because her interests and passions changed, and how it brought up a lot of self-doubt about stability, security and her own identity without the job that had been so wonderful and comfortable for her.

(15:25) The ego tension of discovering “Who is Bruna without E!?”
“At a certain point, I just had to stop feeding myself bs and letting my fears block my blessings.”
(16:30) How when looking at any work, friend, romantic relationship — it always comes back to YOU and how much faith or doubt you put into yourself.
“I can’t sit here an say ‘Oh I want a man to bet on me. I want to find someone who will gamble on me and believe in me when I’m not doing that for myself.” 
(18:00) When the universe conspires to support and help you in living your purpose with the natural skill set you’ve been given and how once Bruna made The Problem With Dating her primary focus, opportunities to do interviews or connect with people who can help arose organically & effortlessly.

 

(20:30) How Bruna deals with moments of self-doubt by reminding herself why she’s doing what she’s doing and that she will never let herself down, plus how crucial it is to have an amazing support system.
How Gabby Berrnstein inspired her to look for signs that she was on the right track for her highest good and how the owl became Bruna’s sign.
(24:00) Changing how we define success vs what other people’s expectations or values are.
Measuring success not by numbers (money & followers on social), but by being able to create content that is true to her and living an authentic life with which other people can resonate.
“I know that I’m going to win because at the end of the day I took the chance on myself to find out, and I feel like that’s winning in and of itself.” 
(26:00) The NEED to write – how writing is therapeutic and important to Bruna regardless of who is reading.
Bruna never would have thought she’ d be a writer 15 years ago — she wanted to be a psychologist originally specializing in couples or relationship therapy, but then she switched her major in college to broadcast journalism because she realized psychology was just about being fascinated by human behavior and trying to figure people out.

Now, it seems, all these interests are meshing together in her path.

 

(30:00) Bruna’s big debut article in Cosmopolitan, I stopped having sex for a year and this is what I learned, how she pitched it, what happened when her social media blew up as a result and she made the cover of the Snapchat discovery page, the overwhelmingly positive response & the responsibility that comes with sharing her own personal experience.

Bruna’s commitment that if she’s going to write in the relationship and dating space, she needs to be okay with putting herself out there and being transparent and authentic.

 

(38:00) The importance of sharing your personal stories to inspire other people as a public service to let them know they’re not alone.
How the public is ready for and craving authenticity.
“I’m just trying to make feelings cool again.”
(43:00) Bruna speculating on whether she’s still going to agree with what she writes now 5-10 years form now — and how it’s okay because it is authentic and real in this moment.
Jennifer quotes Andre Dubus III, author of House of Sand and Fog.
(49:00) The struggle of putting yourself out there in such intimate detail and whether Bruna thinks it has affected her dating life.

Links & Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Connect with Bruna

Connect with roamhowl

You can connect with me on Facebook, @jenbgardner on Twitter, or you can email me here. I am also on the web at www.jgardnerassociates.com and you can read about my approach to practicing law.

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Maybe by tuning in, we will learn something and be inspired to do the next creative, fun without a box thing in our own lives.

2 Comments

  1. […] I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Jennifer Gardener for her Roam Howl podcast, and there wasn’t a topic we didn’t touch on (you can see the highlights here). […]

  2. Adriane McNeely on March 22, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Excellent~ I loved this article. Thanks Jennifer – you are a talent to be reckoned with!

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